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When I'm not piddling away my life in the bowels of corporate America (I have
rent, heat, food and 11.9% APR to thank for that necessity), I spend the bulk
of my time in the arts. My life aspirations aside, I am presented
with a
Don't get your hopes up. I haven't yet suffered through Rugrats, Jack Frost, or even the remake of Psycho. Be patient, my friends. Instead, allow me to share my thoughts on the following films I've seen recently. I bring you five.
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multitude
of options in my life as a result of this intended profession. On one
side, I don't make much money. On the other side, I am permitted to deduct the
most amazing expenses on my federal tax return. This list includes (but is not
limited to) compact discs, some books, some magazine subscriptions, travel
expenses, possibly my cable bill (although I need to look that one up), and
best of all, the purchase of movie tickets. And while I live in New York City,
by no means do I suggest that my free hours are spent in those ever-popular
adult cinemas lining 42nd Street (damn Disney for buying out some of the better
houses).
The catch is, however, that
I still have to buy the tickets. Were they free,
I'd be at the movies every night. Rather, to see a movie in New York, you have
to take out a mortgage. Nonetheless, I attend. Often. And in recent weeks, with
the onslaught of new films taunting the holiday spirit, I have seen some.
See, the truth is that Jews hate Christmas. We avoid celebration and fun.
We sit at home, order Chinese food for delivery, and then venture out of
the house just as everyone else is enjoying plum pudding, and we go to the
movies. There's really nothing else to do. Recently, I've seen several
movies, and I present my comments to all the other Jews, big or little, so
you might have a little bit of leadership for the darkest day of our year.
