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starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan and director Nora Ephron, who originally teamed up for the smash hit Sleepless in Seattle, are back in the e-saddle again with You've Got Mail. The premise: two people meet and fall in love over email.
AOL got a ton of publicity on this one, allowing the film to use their
software as the means of communication between the lovers (Hanks and Ryan).
That's the other problem. Meg Ryan is WAY TOO ATTRACTIVE to be believable
as a net lover. No way. I know I'm treading on really thin ice here, but
I've known LOTS of e-people, and none of them have looked like Meg Ryan. I
think she's really cute. Perhaps this movie will instill hope in male (or
lesbian) net-geeks worldwide, giving them the strength to find a Meg Ryan
of their own. And for everyone who does find someone on the net, and it
works out, kudos to you. In all sincerity, I'm thrilled. But I've been on
the net for a long time now, and I've never known a I've digressed. Quick review: No conflict = no resolution = I don't care about these people. We know from the start that they're chatting with each other. THEY don't know, but since we do, there's no surprise there. Then, Meg never really hates Tom, so the fact that they fall in love in real life is way too easy. Climax? Doesn't happen. Ryan is still cute as all hell, but Hanks hasn't done anything really fun since Mr. Mom. Oh, and that was Michael Keaton, anyway. What was the last fun film Tom Hanks did? Bachelor Party? Big? Maybe even Sleepless in Seattle? Too many Private Ryans and Philadelphias have made him a solid actor, but the fun is gone. Sorry, Tom.
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But AOL, the most popular (or at least the most
oft-used) internet service provider in the world, didn't bother to enforce
a few little editing/consistency issues. For example, the characters dial
into their computer. The modem makes those horrible scratchy noises (aside:
When will modems be invented which can make prettier sounds than that? Come
on, folks. We've got the technology. I want a modem that says, "welcome to
your 33.8Kbps connection. Watch the little hourglass icon for another three
minutes while I connect you to your horribly slow ISP.") Anyway, the modem
makes the horrible scratchy noises, but before it's even done, POOF!
They're online. Then, if that wasn't enough, they make up weird new generic
screens for the email windows and the chat windows which look nothing like
the same screens on the real AOL. 
Hello? And while his
username is a plausible NY152 (I
hope to hell that no one actually has that address), hers is Shopgirl. With over 8,000,000 users,
there's no chance in the world that Shopgirl is available. Maybe 5h0pgrrrrl. And Meg Ryan did not start
AOLing until recently... She's no net geek. I'm a net geek. If there was
any chance in the world that I could get into an e-romance with Meg Ryan,
I'd be there in a second.
Meg Ryan. Damn it. WHERE'S MY MEG RYAN?
