a discussion of the cinematic arts with
The Big Jew
Mommy, what do Jews do on Christmas?


THE PRINCE OF EGYPT

by DreamWorks SKG

In an interview with Jeffrey Katzenberg of Dreamworks (he's the K in SKG), he said:
  "[Prince of Egypt] is unlike any animated feature before it. It won't be anything like people what people are expecting."  
This is very true, and applied to me completely. I expected the movie to be good.

Val Kilmer, who is about as boring in live action (except for Real Genius, which was entertaining, and maybe Top Secret, which was a lame rip-off ofgraphic of directional signsAirplane, but silly enough to laugh once or twice), is even more boring as the voice of Moses. Sandra Bullock was the voice of one of the girls, either Miriam (Moses' sister) or Szipporah (Moses' wife). Honestly, the voices were too similar, and one of them didn't have many lines, so I never really picked up on which was which... Back then, sisters and wives were interchangeable, no? Jeff Goldblum was a pleasant surprise as Moses' brother, and Patrick Stewart, as the first Pharoah, was fine until I realized it was Patrick Stewart, at which point I kept expecting him to refer to Moses as "Number One."

The animation was very brown. Very. Sure, it's Egypt, but heck, let's have a little color! The people were brown, the sand was brown, the camels were brown, Moses' magic staff was brown... Everything was brown!

The movie had nothing gripping in it, except for Moses gripping his damn magic staff. It turned into a brown snake at one point (which I knew was coming since I had read Exodus). And later, he used it to bring all kinds of nasty plagues into Egypt. More could have been done with the plagues. There are ten, but I think they skipped some in the movie. Apparently "boils" was replaced by "Michael Jackson disease" -- everyone just began turning pinker. And who could tell the difference between the locusts and the flies? They all just kept buzzing around, the damn things. Turning the Nile into blood was a neat touch, but then Pharoah's sidekicks recreated the trick with a little Kool-Aid mix, which gave away how Moses did it in the first place. Some magic. Some God...

Last, he parts the Red Sea. It looked good (and not like I always thought it would look from when I envisioned this miracle as a child), but I had seen it in the trailer! Hey Dreamworks, take a tip from Disney, and save the good stuff! The sea stayed parted for a long time (in case we weren't awed enough at the parting, perhaps we'd be awed more by the animated water not moving at all), and finally they killed the Egyptians and Moses & Co. lived happily ever after.

And there were no cool credits at all.

The Big Jew's grade: C+

For more of The Big Jew's film critique, select from the list below:



This Issue Older Stuff About Us Drink This!
Copyright © 1996-2006 Grumble magazine. All rights reserved.