I have some things to say about polls.

Now, I am a bleedin' heart liberal, and am mad as hell about the latest elections – not to mention still tweaked about the 2000 elections. Not that I thought Gore was fantastic, but I thought (and still think) that Dubya is nothing more than a damn fool. Cutting down trees to prevent forest fires is like saying killing all the suffering AIDS victims will get rid of the disease. (I hope he's not reading this, I don't want to give him any ideas...)

Anyway, I don't like the president. I don't like many of the things he's done. I don't like many things he's trying to do. And I know a lot of people who agree with me.

However, this isn't a rant about our pretender king. It's about polling.

Now, I understand that my opinion isn't the end-all be-all of American opinions – that was made pretty damn clear when Elizabeth "used to be pro-choice till I started courtin' Jesse Helms Republicans" Dole got elected senator of North Carolina. I can be big enough to acknowledge that other people have other opinions and that theirs is as relevant as mine. But... everything I hear on the news says that the majority of people still think the guv'ment is doing a good job. Granted, approval rating has dropped from the 90's around September of last year (when people equated love of the president as love for the USA) to the 60's right now (after people realized that our lovely administration is good friends with a lot of the thieves ruining so many retirement funds), but still, that seems awful high.

And no one ever asks me. The only polls I am called to participate in are surveys from Subaru or Pizza Hut, wanting to know whether I would a) most certainly b) probably c) maybe d) probably not or e) certainly not use their services again. No one ever asks me what I think about our president (except my husband, who already knows the answer). And I would love to tell them. I guess I'm in the wrong demographic (I mean, do you really think Dubya cares what a 29-year-old liberal writer in NC thinks of him? But hey, I vote, and my vote counts! Oh, wait, dammit...)

I don't feel very confident that these political polls are real, however. See, I've been on the Other Side.

Around North Carolina, we have a poll that is done yearly and is quoted by all the important publications of the region when the results are released. This is called the Carolina Poll, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill being the university that runs the poll. The highly respected journalism department is in charge of the polling. Even with all those credentials, the newspapers overlook one tiny thing: the journalism department forces its students to be the ones calling in this poll. J-School students are not allowed to receive their journalism degrees unless they work on this poll. No matter how much they don't want to do it.

Let me repeat/rephrase that. You're telling a bunch of college students to do something they distinctly do not want to do – sit at a computer calling center and call a bunch of strangers. College students, who are people who do their damndest to get fake IDs, lie to professors to be excused from tests or bad grades, lie to the opposite sex for sexual favors, and lie to their parents about why their grades are bad or why they need more money. They are still viewed by lots of people (namely those that sell alcohol and pay their way through school) as children for the most part. And still, the University and the area publications are trusting them with this important task of polling North Carolina.

Before I left the J-School¹, I was forced to participate in this poll. I learned quickly what I know all too well now: people don't like being cold-called at home. Even if you can get enough of the script out of your mouth to let them know that you really don't want any money from them, they usually will decline. Some of them more rudely than others.²

After many hang-ups, I finally got one man to be nice to me and answer the poll, but complained that I was taking him away from the Braves game, so I rushed through the last questions. The call still took 15 minutes (there were lots of questions). I took a small break after him and noticed the guy two seats down seemed to be having a grand old time, smiling and talking into the headpiece, rushing through the questions. The girl sitting between us saw me watching him and mentioned that he wasn't really calling people; he was just talking into a dead phone and pushing whatever answers he felt like into his computer. I was at first irritated that he was cheating, then irritated that I hadn't thought of it first.

So I called my dad. Then I called my best friend from high school who was in school back home. Don't get me wrong: I asked them the poll questions, of course. I couldn't just sit there and chat on the school's dime while everyone around me asked (or pretended to ask) questions. But I think I probably skewed the poll towards liberals from the western part of the state instead of using the random phone numbers assigned to me. I felt a bit guilty, but hell, they weren't paying me.

So that's two people – me and Guy Who Never Called Anyone – who screwed with the results of the poll. Who knows what other student fudged answers to get out of the anger and humiliation of calling strangers to only be hung up on?

My point is this: real people do those polls. They call people at dinnertime, make them angry, and get receivers slammed in their ears. They hate having to ask questions over and over again. They are luckier than telemarketers, however, as they don't have to show sales at the end of the day – just answers. And those are a lot easier to make up than credit card numbers.

Even though the actual election results of 2002 show me to be in the minority with my political beliefs, I am still skeptical any poll telling us that Dubya is doing a kick-ass job at leading the country. I just can't believe it.

I'll be skeptical, that is, until the poll reflects my opinions, of course...

1. I'll be honest – I made a C- in a class I needed a C or better to graduate, and I didn't want to take it again. But I will say in my own defense that I also discovered I don't have the hard-edge investigative personality that a reporter needs. If someone doesn't want to tell me something personal, then I figure that's their business. Pulitzers are not won on personalities that respect people's privacy. 2. This is why I endeavor to be polite (but firm) to telemarketers. They are people at the other end are just doing their job and probably having their day ruined bit by bit by the low-grade evil they both give and receive.