Grumble magazine

I’ve been thinking a lot today about being a woman. Why? Because I got my period.

It made me start thinking about how we, as American women, treat our periods. “What an inconvenience!” “Can I get that new drug where you only get it once every 6 months?” “I wish they’d just yank all that stuff out of me so I’d be done with it.” It’s a shame, really.

Many cultures have a lot of ritual around a woman’s monthly menstruation. In several cultures, from the Hebrews to Native Americans, women were separated while they bled. I’ve heard modern women talk about the sexism of that. I used to think that way too. Women aren’t “unclean” just because we menstruate, we protest. So much power lies in vocabulary. What if we changed “unclean” to “renewing” or “purifying”?

Let’s picture life this way. First, remember that women, who live in proximity to each other and have a friendship connection, begin to menstruate on the same schedule. Picture having a period without the convenience of tampons or pads. Picture a time when living was hard work, babies were crucial to survival, and each period meant that you weren’t pregnant.

Now picture a five-day vacation: a tent by the river with a warm fire in it; the women in the community you are closest to are with you; you talk about your hopes and dreams; you give each other back rubs; no one asks you to make dinner or clean up after them. Once your period is finished, you ritually bathe in the river and return to your life refreshed and renewed. Your husband is pretty excited because he hasn’t seen you in a week, and here you are all cleaned up, which is handy because you’re close to the time when you’ll be ready to conceive for the coming month.

That sounds like a nice set-up to me.

I don’t blame men for being wigged by women’s menstruation. After all, women bleed every month. Men who bleed are dying. It must have been very awe-inspiring to see women do that in ancient days. Men must have been just a little bit jealous of the monthly retreats, as well. “Hey, why am I stuck with the kids, and who’s making my supper?” “Well,” the holy people would answer, “the woman is off purifying herself, renewing herself, to prepare for potentially conceiving next month.” “I get it,” the man replies, “she’s unclean and needs to become clean.” Power in vocabulary.

The tragic thing is that somehow over the centuries, we began to believe the male vocabulary. We began to view the “journey to the red tent” not as a retreat but as a banishment. We began to hide our periods and our womanness. Now we’re disgusted by our bodies, how they feel, how they smell.

So I’ve come up with an idea. While the thought of a one-week vacation every month might be nice, it’s unrealistic, but the thought of monthly renewal is not. Some Jewish women still visit the mikvah, the ritual bath, after each period as a way of celebrating renewal. We can all embrace that concept. So here’s my proposal: Each month on the last day of your period, set aside some time in the evening. Cancel plans if you have to. Call a girlfriend or just spend some time alone. Think about the month that just past. Think about the month to come. Keep a journal that you just write in on this day each month. Concentrate on physical things as well as spiritual things. Listen to your body. Then take a long bath or shower. Pull out the nail brush and scrub your fingers and toes. Deep condition your hair. Exfoliate, buff, moisturize, powder. Put patchouli in the water. And then go to bed. Sleep uninterrupted, and don’t set the alarm for the next day. Allow yourself to sleep in – one day a month.

After you do this a few months, see how you feel about the approach of your period, you may even feel sorry for those poor girls on that drug who only get theirs once every six months.