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Bite-sized nuggets of your favorite Webzine
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| Fajitas: |
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English has a gender-neutral word for most relatives. We have
"Mother" and "Father", each gender-specific, but each is also a "Parent".
"Brothers" and "Sisters" are "siblings". Also "Spouse", "Children", and
so on.
How come we don't have one for "Aunt" and "Uncle", or "Niece" and "Nephew"? Wouldn't that just save hours in your day? |
| Oy!: |
| Pick a guy, any guy. I don't care if he's your father, a priest, a football star, or a Nobel laureate. Now ask him if, while at the top of a building, or on a high suspension bridge, he's ever imagined what it would be like to urinate off the edge. If he says no, he's lying. |
| Fish: |
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In 1994, we were the "slacker generation". We were considered
lazy failures if we didn't have a job that paid benefits.
In 2000, we are now the "IPO generation". We are considered lazy failures if we're not millionaires by the time we're 30. Could we please lower the bar back down to a reasonable level? |
| Dr. Wombat: |
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As summer begins to rear its ugly head, everyone is going to be doing a lot of hand-wringing and pulpit-pounding about Global Warming. There's nothing wrong with this per se, but remember that back in the mid- to late-70's everybody was screaming about how the next Ice Age was almost upon us.
The chances of polar ice caps melting and drowning Florida are probably about the same as Alaska being buried under ten stories of glacial ice. So ride your bicycle to work and put solar panels on your house if you really want to, but calm down already. |
| Oy!: |
| When I win the lottery, the first thing I'll do is place a hit man on permanent retainer with specific instructions to hunt down and bitch-slap people I don't like. |
| Toots: |
| What's the point of being a feminist if you still get stuck having to do all the dishes? |
| Oy!: |
| Did you ever notice that the word "execute" is the only word in the English language that can mean both "to begin" and "to end?" |
| Toots: |
| Looking for affordable, lovely housing in the Bay area, when you're living below the poverty line, isn't like looking for a needle in a haystack. It's more like looking for a needle in a huge pile of glass shards. |
| Oy!: |
| I just got a new camcorder. It has that "zero-lux" feature that uses an infra-red spotlight to allow one to record video in total darkness. The instruction manual actually says that this feature is "useful when recording the behavior of nocturnal animals." Uh-huh. Whatever you say. |
| Oy!: |
| Have you ever noticed the gender gap when observing the frequency with which people use the phrase "to take a dump?" I can't ever recall an instance when a woman got up and announced "Be right back... Gotta take a dump." |
| Dr. Wombat: |
Al Gore sacrificed a promising career as an operatic tenor for politics. |
