And lo, the brewfoam flofhed high to the thik roofbeamf. Olek, rich with meety brow, did pump the kegf like wanton harlotf, ferving up the murkifh, mufky barley fyrup for all to imbyb.

Ao, but did nit comb, whenft did the harty fell to fleep, to think of grayt warf, and dreim of bierf.

Fie, tho from erth holef, comb the beift Grendel. Grendel, he, hungr'd, pained with wonting for the taftee fluid that runf in the thin rivirf of a manf hart. Grendel, he, made of ropy meet, with armf of fhip cable. Grendel, he, paking a fix-pak of Whup Aff.

Lah, mei telmeh Uthnek! Yep!

Grendel, he, the beeft from belo, he comb unto the Herot, Fhaking the grayt roofbeamf with hif bellof, grabbing men in hif bunched fiftf, and eeting their headf like a child eetf broccolee, but without making the face of a child who eetf broccolee, nor without beeng told to finnifh all on hif playt left he have no roket popf!

Nay, fie, lo! Grendel, he, ftuffed hif bellie full to burfting with the red pie of the Herot, and with dripping maw did he depart into the nit!

But Grendel, he, did not eet all men, for they were too many for even Grendel'f grayt gut. They were Norfe you fee, and the Norfe fcrew like rabbitf.

Lo, tho, their forcef were made half, and thofe left did morn the loff of their too foon fupped brotherf. They made a pyre of their fcrapf, and it fmelt of fpoiled cheefe blincef.
 

And Grendel, he, heering unto the rukuf, did anger. Hif blood boylt like fondue left out, and in loping ftridef he croffed the womanly hillf to the Herot, breth ftreaming whyte, from the hayte in hif gullet at thif hero, he, Beowulf, who waf here to clip hif meel ticket.

Ao! And did they comb face to face, each face not unlike a face that if bullfhit. And Grendel, he, yelt I am grayt and feerfom Grendel, comb chew bubble gum or fup of the flefh of man. And I am all out of bubble gum!

And the hero, he, Beowulf faid unto the monfter, I am Beowulf, he, the hero, fwimmer of north feaf, favior of my brother twice drown'd, and you, beaft, fhall feer unto me and unto me feel grayt fhame, for my johnny if the fize of a tyre iron!

Fie, did he, Beowulf draw back the tanned cloth that did cov'r him, and threw it to Hrothgar to hold, who then looked unto Herve Velechez beneeth a parachute. Grendel looked and faw, and he, the beaft, did have felt a trembling feer, yet alfo a wyrd curiofity. But no matter, he, Gredel, did think. And bracing himfelf, did yel You call that a johnny! Look now upon the horn of the beaft!
 

And he, Grendel took mytee hold of hif own wrift, and pulled with the force of ten randee oxen, till hif arm waf torn free from it'f mooringf. He then, he, turned back to the waiting crowd of Norfmen, bracing the ftump of the wrent limb againft hif loinf at a rite angle to hif frame. Fayd he, Whaddya think a thofe applef?

And lo, the hero, he, Beowulf did ftep back in awe, fooled af he waf for the moment, and ftood wifout comment, for he found no fpeach in hif throat. But trembl'ng waf brief, for in fhort time the rufe waf diffolved. For Grendel, he, had fallen over like unto a bag of wet rice.

Aye, without tyme did mytee Beowulf make to the innardf of the Herot with the wrent limb of the beaft, and nailed it to the roofbeam with the force of hif member, where it hung, reeking like the Devil'f own Ftick-Up.

And lo, wyne did pour af burgundy riverf into the throatf of the men of the Herot, and all waf happinef, except for poor Hrothgar, who knew in hif meety brain that the next election would be a feriouf bitch.