Boys fail out of school and college more often than girls. This was the subject being covered on a NPR broadcast as I was trundling merrily to work one spring morning. My ears perked-up not only because I am deeply involved in education issues, but that I personally have been a gender activist for many years. This is often followed-up with a brief but necessary conversation: Them: "So you study gender issues, huh?" Me: "Yes. I got my Masters in Gender Studies." Them: "You mean 'Women's Studies', right?" Me: "Well, that's one gender, yes. I study both of them." Oddly enough, men folk seem to get the short end of the stick (no pun intended) in this conversation and in most linguistic regards1. I usually don't bother including in this conversation that I think there are two sexes but actually a whole host of genders, depending on how you look at things -- because nine times out of ten it makes the other person's face go all glassy, and tends to make me feel guilty for pushing on their Silly-Putty world overmuch. That being said, I try to keep a pulse on what things are affecting boys and girls in our society, as it trundles off towards evolving into something where we can all sit around a table, eat whatever we want and talk civilly to one another. Anyway, I was listening to this sad report that more and more boys aren't bothering to go to college, and those who did dropped out at alarming rates or didn't continue on to graduate levels compared to their female counterparts. I admit that at this point, I stopped listening to the radio with more than half an ear and busied myself in my own musings. Now besides the number of young men who either dealt drugs, joined the armed forces or got computer jobs paying $70K right out of high school, which debunks the myth that college is the Way-To-Go for earning capacity and a life of security, how many guys did this actually account for? They never said. The worrying statistic itself didn't interest me as much as the implications for the "fairer sex" and, I guess, the "unfairer sex" in this grand scheme of things. Many people are familiar with the elementary-school studies where boys are called-on more than girls in the classroom. Many teachers are made aware of this, and are told to keep equity in mind when calling for answers to questions especially in subjects of science and mathematics. So given this is true, then boys are now feeling that they are getting less attention than they used to at the early stages of schooling, and maybe getting disinterested. (School being less interesting than, say, hackysack on the playground or skipping the whole thing and playing Playstation II all day long. Go blame the media, this was obviously never true when you were young! On the flip-side, there is a real frightening statistic about how many girls drop out of high school just so they can watch their favorite soaps on TV. Can't someone teach them to at least program a VCR?!?)

Ahem. 'Scuse me. As I was rambling: if this new NPR report is true, many of those young men who bother to go on to college lose interest (again, not much attention can be paid to little ol' you in a class of 300 for Introduction to Psychology 101) or aren't interested enough to continue on to a Masters or a PhD, while the young female college students get more capital letters to add onto their business cards. Fine. That's a matter of personal choice and finances. What struck me as weird was thinking about the implications -- what happens when these kids enter the workplace? Think of it: these supposedly minimally-educated men rise through the ranks faster than their more-educated female counterparts (statistically) who have more school loans to pay for those precious pieces of parchment paper. Remember the glass ceiling effect? It's still there. The men who are expected to do better in the workplace and are paid at a substantially higher rate aren't falling for the university promise, and gain their peer prestige by driving nice cars, which is where their debt lies: in hefty Car Insurance rates from hell until they are in their late twenties (if they're lucky). While women struggling to earn the same buck are (statistically) expected to drop-out of the corporate clime, because they will most likely get married and have kids necessitating (statistically) maternity leave, child-care benefits, telecommuting or job-share opportunities -- or end up quitting altogether, which has the side-benefit of explaining the Health Insurance mantra that women cost more than men and charge double the mens' yearly rates for coverage. (Further encouraging companies not to hire or spend much money on the salaries of these women of child-bearing age... or those younger who are "inexperienced in the field"... or those older who are simply "old". But this is never said outright for fear of Age Discrimination, unless you're a news anchor where women are "young/cute" until "old/ugly", but men always look distinguished. Blah!)

Place these Yuppie folks alongside those high-school graduates (or drop-outs) who are earning exponentially more cash than either camp and spend their time fiddling at their computers before going home to play on their Playstation IIs, and I can see where the depression kicks-in. Depression leads to the Mid-Life Crisis2 where men outstrip women in the "deciding-I-always-wanted-a-flashy-sports-car-and-I-deserve-one-before-I-die" mentality and rack up the Really Big Debt to finally compete in the Digging-a-Deeper-Hole Contest. This is also when little Julie wants to go to college and Bobby wants a car. What comes after mid-life? A quick jaunt towards expensive prescription medications, dwindling Social Security, and finally death, where men kick the proverbial bucket earlier than women (statistically) and the Grim Reaper becomes the Great Equalizer.3 Well, my thought about this plan is that it sucks. The low-down breaks out like this:

Men	Women
Called-on more in school	Have better grades in school
Don't go to college / Do worse in college	Go to college / Do better in college
Don't go on to graduate levels	Go to graduate levels
Have less student loans (debt)	Have more student loans (debt)
Have better-paying jobs	Have worse-paying jobs
Have higher car insurance rates	Have lower car insurance rates
Have lower health insurance rates	Have higher health insurance rates
Feel disconnected to non-work life("breadwinner")	Feel disconnected in work life ("glass ceiling")
Get hit with Marriage Penalty Tax	Get hit with Marriage Penalty Tax
Suffer Mid-Life Crisis	Suffer Post-Partum Depression
Called to give kids more money	Called to pick up sick kids
Pay way too much in medicine and Medicare costs and lose elusive Social Security benefits	Pay way too much in medicine and Medicare costs and lose elusive Social Security benefits
Die Earlier	Live Longer

...which is pretty low. Who gets the better deal? Well, you're rich and frustrated but you're dead, or you're bankrupt and frustrated but alive. You choose. The humanist response to this would be euthanasia, but we all know that's immoral.

1. I can hear the angry stomping of comfortable shoes from the feminists on that one already. Look, I believe I am a 'humanist' (someone who believes everyone has a right to the same human rights and dignities) and I am a 'feminist' (someone who believes there are some things uniquely 'female' that ought to be both equal and celebrated) but ever notice there is no word in the English language for being pro-male (someone who believes there are some things uniquely 'male' that ought to be equal and celebrated)? The closest thing Webster's got is 'Male-Chauvinist (Pig)' which, even the staunchest man-hater has to agree, is hardly what I mean. If you don't mind me saying so, that's awfully telling. I encourage using the word 'menimist' in casual conversation and see what happens! 2. Made all the rage in the 80's with sweeping popularity, going well into the 21st Century: get yours today by sending $19,950 to a lease ownership near you! 3. Unless you're of the mind where "The One With The Most Toys Wins"; suckers to capitalism!